twinkpop:

when your mama takes the cookies out of the oven

image

dortios:

when your parent comes to check if you’re still awake

image

(Source: waaycest)

thirteenandprobablyhateyou:

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

xorestesfastingx:

chae-min:

"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"

All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.

"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.

ammit420:

whenever i buy new clothes i take them home and im just like yo what the fuck did i wear before i had this

pinkiepony:

i-just-really-like-john-green:

pinkiepony:

I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S FUNNIER
I regret middle school

calm down there, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way.

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK
WHO THE FUCK
BROUGHT BACK THE DIARY POST

cliff-whored:

nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go im sorry but youre going to have to go home and change thats inappropriate for school and the boys are distracted

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

royalblackpirate:

epic-vines:

When tree branches get in my way

Vine by: Logan Paul

How we manage to cram such genius in 6 seconds is beyond me. This is art.

"Thank you guys very much for this, I’m gonna use this as another toilet paper roll yeah!" 

Brendon Urie is presented the first ever skully for Best Vocalist

x

amplitudeandexcursion:

there’s a DINOSAUR IN YOUR KITCHEN

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

defilerwyrm:

thegreenwolf:

xtori34:

Looking up Scottish mythological creatures and

Wulver: a werewolf in Shetland, that is said to have had the body of a man with a wolf’s head. It was reported to have left fish on the windowsills of poor families.

That is the nicest Werewolf legend I’ve ever heard of.

Now I wish I could draw because I’d love to draw this.

image

i tried